Mantra Play and Haircuts

Sat Nam, Gee!

Sat Nam Gee.

Whaaaah! Hey! Geode. (Rock lobster!)

Eck on Car. (you want car wash?)

Walla walla bing bong!

Ssssssat Nam? (who your mama?)

S’ri (S’righ S’ro Sum, I smell the blood of an English mum.)

Whaaaaaah! Hey! Geode! (Rock lobster!)

Odd g’ray n’may

You gotta g’ray n’may

(it isn’t gray it’s blonde)

Robinsons May,

Macys may,

Sat g’ray n’may

Siri Guru d’vay n’may

Odd such,

You gotta such, (why thank you!)

A-bay such, (E-bay. Not A-Bay.)

Non-ekka ho, say “bay such”

I can’t hear you…


That’s better. By the way, we take payents only through PayPal. Now once again…

I hope I haven’t offended the gurus. People have said you can channel your frustrations on God because he can take it. If your God is a she, however, perhaps you better look out. That’s the real reason for gender bias in religion, I think. Of course I’m just rambling here, and I don’t have any pre-suppositions in these areas. They’re all fine with me. Whatever you like. Some people can’t eat curry. Others love it. I fall into the latter category.

So don’t mind me. I got a haircut, and now all my kundalini is leaking out my ajna chakra. First haircut in like a year. No, not really. First scalping, though. She showed he this pic of a hip trendy looking club kid and said, “You want like this?” and then 15 minutes later I looked like a Russian cab driver and she was trying to sell me some gunk for $40 that would save me from my thinning hair and smelled like a taxi air-freshener. But I had this bizarre experience of having too much energy pounding all around my head afterwards, and eventually I realized it was because it’s unseasonably hot in LA and the air conditioning in my car doesn’t work anymore.

But hopefully now I’ll be able to put that claim about Kundalini Yoga being for the householder (unlike Hatha which requires 20 years of dedicated practice in a cave to bring about spiritual evolution.)

See there’s this irony about that claim, coupled with the “suggestion” to grow your hair and beard long and unkempt, I mean uncut, then to bind it all up with a turban covering your ears so the bad energy is kept away. I suppose somebody will hire you, but it does narrow your options a little. Doing sadhana at 4AM also makes it hard to have an edge at the office at 3PM when everyone else is finally waking up and recovering from their lunchtime martinis.

So I was listening to this sermon on tape from the Vedanta Center about Karma Yoga. One of the themes was that of “doing your duty.” I kept thinking it was something like what a dog does on the carpet when you don’t take him out soon enough. But actually, your “duty” varies depending upon your station in life (an old Indian concept – the reading the lecture was based on, surprisingly, is now 108 years old; fortunately we don’t really have castes in LA, unless you break a bone or something, or consider which studio/director/producer you work with) — and your calling. Well, your duty is that which exalts and elevates you while you’re involved in doing it. Which begs the question; what is your duty? If you have a clear answer to that, you see, you know what pursuit in life will help burn your karma. The karma yogi pursues their duty, dedicating the work to God, knowing that their boss is an agent for God, and God is their employer. If you have an unnatural inclination to follow self-introductions with a descriptive phrase before your catch yourself, such as “and I’m a _____________,” you might find a refreshing familiarity in this employment directive. Yeah, the third step. So two frogs are sitting on a log and both make the decision to jump off. How many are left?

Let me change the subject. I stumbled upon something in the Self-Realization literature that said one of the restraints of the Kriya yogi is not to engage in humor and joking. Because these are idle diversions of the mind which distract it from the contemplation of God. So does that rule out the laughing kriya, which is supposed to open your heart center? To practice it; just laugh as hard as you can for 1-3 minutes. You will feel changed, believe me. Yogi B used to say you should sweat and laugh every day to maintain good health. Or that’s what Gurmukh tells us frequently. It sounds like a great recipe, actually, doesn’t it? I’m going to have to confess, from my limited perspective, I think I can only begin to contemplate God if I can have a good laugh. They say God has a sense of humor. God laughs when we make plans. If you don’t see God in all, you don’t see God at all. So contemplate God at a comedy club tonight. Or read an Ayckbourne play.

I guess I better get to work. God is watching.