OK, after I did the Subagh Kriya last time I posted about it, the next day this woman from teacher training showed up somewhere I’d never seen her before. I’m not sure that was “prosperity” but I had a strong feeling it was related to having done the set.
So I did the Subagh Kriya again the next day, and at the end of that day, I got a serious case of “fuck it; it’s not worth the effort.” No money had shown up.
I didn’t have any cash come in, but the following day, I started to get the payments I was waiting for. That day I was feeling pretty overwhelmed and hopeless about finances, so I did the “Meditation to Tap Opportunities,” which has three parts.
The first part you swing your hands up to your heart center alternately, for open time. I decided to do this for the length of “Dhan Dhan Ram Das Guru” by Bhai Nirmal Singh, chanting along with it. Then you chant “hariang” (destroyer) 8 times per breath for 11 or 31 minutes with your palms facing up, pinkies together, fingers & thumbs apart, at navel level. That time I didn’t notice the instruction that your fingers should be slightly apart during this. Then you put the finger-tips together, thumbs facing up, like a little tent pointing out away from your belly. For this you chant “hariang” 16 times per breath for 31 or 62 minutes. I did 62 minutes.
So I’m in the midst of doing this set again tonight, since I got home and couldn’t sleep again. During Dhan Dhan arm swings, I found my legs getting uncomfortable, and kept trying to change positions to continue. Finally that ended, and into part two, at about 10 minutes I looked at the clock for the first time. I could smell my funky feet in half lotus posture. Ugh. A police car went by outside, siren blazing. For some reason I started thinking the person they were after was somewhere in this building, and wondering where that silly thought came from. I found myself wondering what I would write about the experience, how boring it would be to read. At 15 minutes, I started to think about stopping and doing something else. But what? I didn’t really want to do anything else. At 20 minutes, some food started digesting in my belly, I burped, and suddenly I noticed I was sitting there having stopped, like somebody sitting still in the intersection at a green light. Starting up again, I suddenly recalled the experience I had last time, seeing my face as an old man in the palm of my hands. This continued for quite some time. At 22 minutes, I was trying to find excuses to quit. Yes, I must be in a cult. Leo grouped his ex-wife’s participation in Kundalini yoga as her being in a cult. I’ve been through that discussion before, of course, but is it just resistance? At 24 minutes I suddenly noticed the “hariangs” were coming out like a continuous ringing resonant stream, my whole head resonating with them; I noticed I was in the flow and suddenly wanted to stop. I was trying to figure out how many minutes I had to continue but couldn’t do math and focus on counting chants at the same time… one minute to go… then it was time, but it was a digital clock; do I quit when the counter goes to 32 minutes or at 31? I quit somewhere in between. I went to brush my teeth, which had suddenly been bothering me. Heated up some more yogi tea. I suppose I shouldn’t reheat it in the microwave, but I did and will continue to. Visited the bathroom. Sat down to write this. It’s too late in the morning; by the time I finish 62 minutes of the last section, my alarm would go off for the time I set it to wake me up if I’d gotten to sleep. Now I think I’m procrastinating finishing, but I’m gonna go back to it.
Ok, so… well, 10 mins into part three the sun came up and it got light outside. Suddenly the surge in energy was more distracting and the peace of the Amrit Vela slipped away. I was aware how I was slumped into my lower back, straightened my spine, and it became easier to breathe and meditate. The thickness of the air as a gas became more apparent with each breath. I continued 20…30 minutes. 31 minutes. I could stop now. Well, two more minutes and I realized my inner restlessness had settled, I was able to focus a bit, there were things I wanted to get done. Should I continue until 62 minutes? That’s what I’d set out to do. I continued 2 or 3 more minutes, then decided my purpose wasn’t to prove to myself I could do it. Or was I wimping out? No, I felt restless and wanted the focus that had arrived.
yikes!