Well, I ended up working all night, right through sadhana time. Haven’t done a full sadhana in quite some time. I got fed up with it. My expectation is that if I get up at 3AM and do two hours of yoga and meditation I’m entitled to have financial prosperity and career stability in my life. But it never happened. I’d always end up sleeping through my lunchtime commitments too; that doesn’t do too much to convince me that it’s working wonders in my life. I’d be too exhausted to follow-through on the realizations I had during meditation. What good is that?
Well, I suppose I could go to bed earlier. It seemed like an empty promise; your circle of friends may be smaller, but your relationship with God will make your life richer and more meaningful.
So before I keel over and collapse, I’m going to dive in and see if I can at least make it through the challenging Subagh Kriya 55 minute set. It’s not too bad at 15 minutes, but when you do each of the 5 sections for eleven minutes each, boredom sets in, and later my chest and neck end up sore and I get cranky. Well… let’s see what happens.
Furthermore, the “Har” chants I’d found eventually bored me to tears. That’s because I did them every day for 119 days… while my dad was dying. When I got back to LA from NYC, the depression set in, and I said, “fuck it.” Whenever I commit to a set for 40 days, or try to get to that point, the last days become the most challenging. No longer because the set is hard, but because the challenge of showing up for it gets stronger with boredom and distraction and disillusionment. Well, I recorded my own “Har” chant, with the word chanted on 2 and 4 instead of 1 and 3. It makes it a little easier to ride the energy of the chant physically. But it’s not terribly exciting either.
Enough talking… down to practice. Couldn’t I eat first? Or maybe sleep… or or or…
They said only do the 55 minute version if you’re out of work. I guess it’s time, huh?